Social media is infamous for creating impossible expectations and distorted realities. Is there a way to be genuine, even if we're not face to face?
As a society, we spend hours and hours scrolling through funny videos, our friends' feeds, inspirational quotes, and everything in between. Of course, there's a lot of potential for good on social media, but is it being maximized? No, I don't believe it is, especially in regards to how it affects the way we think.
Let's face it: when we see someone post, it changes our perspective of them. For example, when people post all of their tropical vacation pictures during spring break, it makes us believe that it is normal, expected even, for everyone to go on extravagant vacations. Or when someone posts a perfectly posed picture that shows off their body, it makes us believe that they constantly are in fantastic shape.
There's something that we forget, though. This isn't real. We don't just happen to make a cute pose in front of a mirror or flex at just the right angle to make our muscles look bigger. No—it took multiple shots with different lighting and filters. We put in so much effort to be fake.
The Answer: Yes!
Of course you can be real on social media! After all, you choose what you're showing to your followers. You don't have to put lots of filters on your picture. You don´t have to write the perfect caption. You don´t have to post at the perfect time. Or, you can. It´s all up to you.
You´re in control of your honesty and the level of genuineness you want to share with the people that follow you.
But Being Real is Scary
That's very true! In fact, I was inspired to write this post as a result of overcoming this fear within the past week. Allow me to explain.
I had to film myself for a project for one of my online classes, and I ended up having lots of bloopers. A friend of mine had posted a video of bloopers from filming herself for an online project and it was hilarious. So, I asked her if she could make a compilation of all of my awkward moments. She made the video; I loved it and her editing. I wanted to post it because I thought it was funny and might brighten people's days. At that moment, questions flew through my head: what if people don't like it, what if I'm spamming my story, what if people hold the weird faces I made in the video over my head...? It took a bit, but I pushed away these questions and posted the video on my Instagram story.
It ended up being one of the highlights of my week because tons of people, whether I was close with them or not, reached out. They told me that the video made their day because they laughed so much. Even though I wasn't very put together, even though I posted the bloopers in my life, I felt joy through what I posted. Because I was real, I was able to bless other people's days. Imagine how many more smiles we could spread if we were willing to be real on social media?
REMEMBER: this post is not meant to tell you that you should put every single emotion you feel on your story. In fact, privacy is equally important to honesty when it comes to social media. I simply want to tell you that it's okay to post a picture of yourself without 32 filters and the perfect caption. It's okay to show your silly side or the side of you that would rather be in sweatpants.
We Need Tangible Relationships
You may not be a hugger, but humans need physical touch and presence in order to maintain good mental health. In fact, physical touch stimulates dopamine and serotonin, two hormones that regulate mood as well as relieve stress and anxiety.
“Social media has given us this idea that we should all have a posse of friends when in reality, if we have one or two really good friends, we are lucky." - Brene Brown
Social media has caused us to believe that we can be fulfilled by followers and likes and subscribes and comments. But just because you have hundreds or even thousands of followers on Instagram doesn't mean you have a fulfilling tangible relationship. It's amazing how people still feel lonely, even when they're surrounded and followed and adored from a distance. From a distance. That's why we're lonely—social media increases our distance.
This has hit especially hard these past couple weeks in quarantine. I'm incredibly thankful for the technology that we have and that we can still remain in touch with those we know. However, FaceTime, Zoom, Google Hangouts, etc, simply don't do my friends justice. There's nothing like sitting in the same room as the people you love as you laugh, share stories, watch movies, play games... Time with people simply cannot be replaced by technology, no matter how integrated it becomes in our lives. So, remember to be genuine with the people you love.
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