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Jun 19, 20204 min read

Confidence to Love

Why is love so difficult? It takes a lot from us to love ourselves, and even more to love other people. Let's dive a little deeper into this idea!



Recently, I took a poll on my Instagram (@savvysaysblog) asking followers if it was harder to love others or themselves and then followed up asking them to explain their answers. 91% of voters said that it was much harder to love yourself. Here were a few of their explanations:


"Loving yourself is harder. It is easier to pick apart my own flaws and when it's others I just love their heart and see beyond anything that I might judge myself for."
"Loving yourself is harder. I think it is just so easy to see all the beauty in others' personalities and looks, but when looking inward it is difficult to see past those insecurities and flaws."
"Loving yourself is harder. I think it's easier to see the best in others and the worse in myself than the other way around."
"Loving yourself is harder because you hold yourself to standards that no one else does, but it's hard to meet those expectations."

These were just a few of the responses that caused me to write this blog, so thanks to my followers for inspiring me! I wanted to take some time to talk about self love and loving others.



Loving Yourself


It takes confidence to love yourself.


"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.” - Maxwell Maltz

Not being confident in yourself is the same as swimming upstream. Having confidence in yourself is the same as loving yourself, and human beings are made to love. So, if you're not loving yourself, you're going against your very human nature. Simply put: you've been made to love yourself!


You can choose how you react to your own love. However, this is where things can get sticky internally:

  • If you accept self love, are you prideful or selfish?

  • If you decline self love, are you just seeking attention from elsewhere?

  • If you simply don't practice self love, are you negligent?


Here are my answers: no, probably, and yes. Loving yourself is healthy, so you should practice and accept it without shame. There are two reasons why you shouldn't deny yourself love: 1) you deserve it, 2) you're sabotaging yourself by doing so.


Now you may be thinking: Savannah, how do I balance self love and outward love? Remember moderation! Too much self love is pride, but not enough self love is negligent—both are equally dangerous. It's easier said than done, I fail pretty much every day. Both prideful and negligent people forget that self love is an internal feat. Pride is flaunting your love, negligence is flaunting your lack of it. By knowing within your own heart, soul, and mind that you are loved, you can avoid both extremes.


In the end, it's up to you to give yourself the love that you need. Don't search for it in other people because they can't know exactly what you need when you need it. You're the only one who can monitor your own needs, and you may need to meet them for yourself. You are enough, not only for others, but for yourself!



Loving Others


On the flip side, it takes courage to love others.


Loving other people is different than loving yourself. It requires courage, since you have to be willing to give love away. On top of willingness, you need bravery. This is because you never know how someone will react to your love, whether they'll accept or reject it.


"In the end, nothing we do or say in this lifetime will matter as much as the way we have loved one another." - Daphne Rose Kingma

Like most things, the journey of love starts on the inside (which is why I focused the beginning of this post on self love). But it shouldn't stop there. Once your internal cup is filled, and it keeps filling, it'll overflow to those around you—it's only natural!


You can practice self love as much as you want, but that's not the mark that you'll leave on the world, it's merely dipping your brush into the paint. Your mark begins when you pour love on everyone else; love is an art and the world is your canvas. Imagine how much brighter the world could be if we all spread our paint across the entire canvas!


It sounds a lot easier and aesthetically pleasing than it is. Love is a lot of work, and each person reacts to and accepts it differently. Unfortunately, there's no formula to love someone perfectly every time. The only thing that you can do is offer your love; it's up to the person on the receiving end to accept or reject it. That's how you'll leave the brightest mark: giving love freely, not expecting anything in return, and being okay with how others react to your gift.


On That Note...


Love is hard, and it requires even more than just confidence and courage. But those are great starting places.


I hope this post inspired you to love all human beings, including yourself. I believe that everyone deserves to be loved, and maybe you're the vessel through which someone is loved. Let that sink in. You're the one who gets to love on other people—what a privilege!


 


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